“Staying With”: An Art Therapy Process

Exploring discomfort, curiosity, and emergence through art therapy.
Author: Kelsey Middleton

It is a common experience to begin an artwork and almost immediately go into a place of, “I don’t like this,” “I’m terrible at art,” “I wish it looked different,” or “I just want to crumple this up and start over.” And while this is perfectly normal, there is an aspect of art therapy in which we are encouraged to stay with the piece that we initially do not like. How can we remain curious about the process of both what is happening on the page and what is happening within? How can we try new ways of being with the materials and our inner experience as the image changes and transforms? Where can this process take us if we stay with, instead of abandoning it for something else that is most likely just as equally unknown? Here is an example of an experience I encountered on this very subject.

The Inner Voice Prompt

Acrylic paint on paper
Done by author, Kelsey Middleton
“Layering Shapes, Sounds, and Thoughts”

This piece started out totally different than how it began, so let me start from the beginning. The prompt given was to create something “from your inner voice.” What an exciting prompt! The hope, expectations, and possibilities were high. The idea of this prompt was to allow the mysterious place from within to guide the artwork instead of the brain deciding it wanted to make a specific picture and executing that picture. It is a prompt that encourages curiosity, the parts of us that have less form, and a sense of the wise inner knowing to come forth and guide the emergence of the image. 

With a big blank piece of paper and a set of acrylic paints, the process began. I started with some strokes of paint that were creating shapes resembling a gate and a big flower. It wasn’t three minutes into the experience when my judgmental mind immediately kicked in.  I looked up to see what others were doing. I froze. My thoughts were flooded with critique, comparison, and disappointment in the artwork that I was creating. This all happened so quickly and I was caught in a moment of decision of what to do next. I paused, and sat with this for a moment. Knowing what I know about therapy and artmaking, I acknowledged the frustration and overwhelming desire to crumple up this piece of paper and begin fresh on a new one. 

Staying With

While there is therapeutic value in tearing up, crumpling, or even burning a piece of art, for this experience, I heard a voice telling me to ‘stay with it’. So, instead of starting over, I took a look at my color palette and allowed myself to be drawn to a particular color. This is a simple and effective technique in art therapy. I gravitated toward this shade of purple and began to paint over the part that didn’t sit well with me. With some freedom and sense of, “I already messed this up so what do I have to lose,” I painted over the entirety of the gate and flower. Simple strokes of purple, revealing nothing but the bristles of the paintbrush and shades of color became the center of the image. I giggled with the liberation and playfulness of that moment. 

Whether it is coming from a place of enlightened freedom, complete frustration, or utter hopelessness, the artmaking process can take us to new places. 

I continued with this new found process. Dipping the paintbrush into colors I was drawn to and allowing the strokes to create the artwork. Purple, red, and green, simple strokes made here and there. All of a sudden, these strokes of color felt right and this new, more abstract image emerged. I was giggling and having fun. I liked what was happening. It felt new to my own experience of making art, exciting, and honest. The initial prompt of expressing your inner voice felt as though it was actually coming through. I was surprised, delighted, and grateful for this process of art therapy.

The Gifts of Staying With

It’s perfectly okay not to like something. In this case, it is reflected in what is being painted. Not liking a shape or a mark or a feeling it’s evoking. That is okay and totally normal. But it's’ how we stay with it, work with it, try something new where transformation and discovery can happen. What would it be like to allow yourself to try a new way, pick up a different color, try a different stroke, start poking holes and sewing fabric into it? What would it be like to growl at your paper, tell your thoughts to take a back seat, close your eyes, and start painting over everything you already made?

This piece would have never turned out this way had it not been for the initial disliking, acknowledging the dislike, and staying open to experimentation and process. Oftentimes, we just need the encouragement to be with artmaking in this way. We need the acknowledgement that it is normal and okay to feel critical about a piece. That the thoughts that can arise are primal and wise instinct in many ways. However, there is an incredible amount of resilience, conscious choice, and presence that is offered through an art therapy process of staying with the initial piece.  Transformation, insight, and new discovery live on the other side of this road. We start somewhere and end up somewhere entirely else. We could not have planned it. It is a process of acknowledgement, discovery, and openness. Can you imagine the possibilities? 

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